I was blessed to grow up around people eager to pass along their Wisdom and Life Lessons to me. What I learned from them has stood me in good stead in life. But sometimes Time is the greatest teacher of all. So many of the problems that I stressed and obsessed over for years resolved themselves merely with the application of time and a lot of it.
Brush Pile No More
For the past nine years, the brush pile in our backyard has been bugging me. Year after year it grew with the flotsam and jetsam that drops from our oak trees during storms while various volunteers grew up amongst the branches: junk trees, grape vines, purple bell flowers. What a wild mess!
I despaired of our brush pile being cleaned up.
Like so many other egregious projects I couldn't figure out how to manage (I call it a "mental block"), the solution came organically...in Time.
Last weekend, an acquaintance casually mentioned he has a cutter that'll chew through our brush pile in five minutes flat! Frabjous day, calloo, callay!
And just like that I realized how silly I've been to stress over it. As always, the solution just hadn't come yet. The "mental block" was God's way of saying, "Not yet, Little One. Be patient. I got this."
The solution came...in God's Time.
Children Grow Up...Anyways
During the horror of Parental Alienation, it never occurred to me that it wouldn't last forever. That the horror had an automatic expiry date because children grow up. They can't help themselves.
Did the Parental Alienation end when my step-children became adults? Well, we thought it did briefly. With Caitlin, of course, it was instantly forgotten.
But when the others chose to go back to the lies, the alcohol, the drugs and the drama-drama-drama this time it was their choice. They did it of their own Free Will but this time they did it knowing the truth instead of being brainwashed in a myriad of lies.
Time didn't heal the wound but it salved it a lot.
How Does Your Garden Grow? Accidentally, Actually.
When I turned forty, I had an epiphany:
Anything worth doing takes time.
Take your time! There’s no rush.
Slow down and enjoy the journey…
even if it takes a week, a month or years.
It was my Garden that taught me that lesson. I always wanted a big, bouncing, crazy cottage garden full of herbs and colorful flowering perennials. But oh! It just wasn’t working out until 2018 when Michael built me a raised pallet garden. Instead of bending and stooping to pluck a weed, now I have to climb on a step-stool to work in my pallet garden. I love it!
Best of all, the boxes are surrounded by mounds of perennials. It seemed to come together so suddenly…and yet not suddenly. That’s when I realized that projects worth doing take Time and a lot of it.
Those bouncing rhubarb plants…were growing in my neighbor’s yard for years before they came to me.
The ferns? They came from behind the house. Were probably growing quietly back there since 1912 but I never noticed them til 2018.
The moss? Grew slowly for years before I transplanted it in flat sheets.
The thyme? The mint? Planted the seeds years ago.
The hollyhocks? Stole the seed from the hollyhocks over at the City Hall and transplanted my plants a half dozen times before they found a home in the pallet garden. They don’t blossom the first year. You have to be patient!
My point is, it took six years of bumbling around, throwing seed in the ground, transplanting, trying things that didn’t work…and suddenly I have the garden I always dreamed about. Seemingly overnight…but not overnight at all.
Our whole culture is based on “right now.” Want a garden? Call in a landscaper! You can have it right now! Want a beautiful home? Call an interior designer! You can have it right now! As Bogie said in Casablanca, “For a price, Ugarte, for a price.”
But where’s the fun in that!? Instead of hurrying, take your time. Enjoy the journey. Build it slowly, authentically. Plant a flower. Scatter some seed. Buy an antique doorknob from eBay. Find a darling bibelot at a garage sale. Time is where all the richness and authenticity comes from. Time'll yield a garden and a home chockablock with nostalgia and memories.
Let Time work its magic. You'll be surprised how many insurmountable problems simply melt away...in time.
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