Trump's Foot-In-Mouth: Love It or Fear It

Let's not kid ourselves. Trump has an absolute genius for shoving his proverbial foot down his proverbial esophagus. Especially at the beginning of his candidacy, he suffered from hoof-in-mouth disease. I married a very honest man who sometimes shoves his foot down his throat too, so I've got the inside scoop. Personally, I find it charming!

Conservatives loved it. Liberals feared it. But it was his honesty that captured and held my attention.

Politics aside, political yackety-yack-yack is mentally exhausting and frickin' boring! Americans just don't like it.

I've spent the last eight years trying to figure out the hell Obama was trying to say. He's a genius at blowing smoke up our asses with a lovely sounding litany of long words that don't mean a damn thing. Judging by how much he stutters without teleprompters, he must be just as confused by his rhetoric as I am! And, despite my iron-resolve to watch every moment of both the Republican and Democratic National Conventions, I found my brain switching off during Hillary's acceptance speech. It was vacuous and yet familiar. Then I realized:  It was like listening to her husband talk. I'd heard it all before.

Enter Donald Trump. He spoke from his head and his heart. He physically disassembled his teleprompters when they pissed him off.

His honesty, right and wrong, gripped a nation starved for truth, nauseated by non-stop lies and Politically Correct bullshit.

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Like you, I shuddered when President Trump said extreme stuff. "Oh, Donald," I'd groan. "Really!?! You didn't help yourself just now." But I knew he didn't mean it literally. He wasn't considering all the practical implications of his hardcore stance on things like deporting illegals. C'mon, people! He's a CEO. He sees the big picture and leaves working out the details to the experts and Legislature. Didn't you ever know a CEO/CFO like that!? Let's use some common sense here.

Oh, I forgot. Liberals don't have common sense, or at least, they choose not to use it. They took every syllable that fell from Trump's mouth as Gospel. Took it literally...and then blew it all out of proportion!

                  Now who's the "conspiracy theorists"!?!

So wear your little safety pins and I'll send you a fresh diaper to pin it on. Cause yours are saggy and stinky from crappin' your pants over a little bit of truth. Here's a baby wipe. Surely you can wipe your own ass? Don't worry! You'll be safe, insured and prosperous too...despite your whining.

President Trump's foot-in-mouth faux pas? I find them charming!