I Used to be a Nudist, until I Discovered Socks

I've always been a nudist. It feels so good, so free, so airy. When I was a baby, I couldn't even stand my nasty pink collar. Mommy said Houdini had nothing on me. I could get out of anything.

Take the nasty collar for instance. The trick is to hook your back toenails under it and push it up towards your chin. Of course, we bichons don't really have chins, so that helps. Tuck your chin in, push the collar over it and yes! You're in the nude again.

Now, if your Mommy is like mine, she decided a harness was the way to go. She'd been told it'd be easier on my throat when I yank, yank, yank on my leash and she figured I couldn't get out of it. Hahaha! Joke's on Mommy! All you have to do is pull backwards against the leash. The leash will flip the harness inside-out, over your head and yes! Sweet nudity again.

But I make an exception for socks. Pink socks...of course!

I love snow but when it gets below zero up here, my footsies get awfully cold. That's when I "prairie dog." That's what Mommy calls it. You know what I mean, bichons...the way we precariously balance on our bums when we're either begging or freezing.

Well eat your heart out, 'chons, cause I got socks now! No more prairie dogging for me...except when roast chicken or Spicy Doritos are around!

Wait...am I still a nudist?

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