"Perfectionism is probably the most common and also one of the most damaging characteristics of dysfunctional families," wrote John and Linda Friel in their excellent book An Adult Child's Guide to What's Normal. When I read that, I felt like I'd discovered fire. Perfectionism ran rampant in my narcissistic family and I've been its willing slave since childhood.
But why? That's what I want to know.
Click here to read how perfectionism forms an ego feeding frenzy for narcissists AND how it leads to workaholism
As a child, I felt loved for what I did but not for who I authentically was.
Because of this, parental correction and discipline was excruciatingly painful. It brought on full narcissistic collapse. This is the feeling that you’re less than nothing. Don’t deserve life. Are the lowest human on Earth. Are worth less than shit. Have no basis upon which to make eye contact with another human, let alone stand up to them. I spent many hours curled up in the fetal position, sobbing my eyes out.
Full Narcissistic Collapse.
Was I “defensive” as my parents called it? Absolutely! Fighting to be OK. I was fighting for my life.
Read Confessions of an Ex-Narcissist by clicking here!