 “At the name of {narcissism} each one of the children felt something jump…inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.” Ah, forgive me for paraphrasing the great C. S. Lewis from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. But that’s how it is when you first learn about “narcissism,” isn’t it? You either feel liberated…or angry.
That moment came and went for my Family-of-Origin this week when they finally found my website and blogs. Oh, it took them ages to find it. Their uncharacteristic lack of curiosity was most vexing. But they finally found it. Click here to read the whole story!
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 As a child, I felt loved for what I did but not for who I authentically was.
Because of this, parental correction and discipline was excruciatingly painful. It brought on full narcissistic collapse. This is the feeling that you’re less than nothing. Don’t deserve life. Are the lowest human on Earth. Are worth less than shit. Have no basis upon which to make eye contact with another human, let alone stand up to them. I spent many hours curled up in the fetal position, sobbing my eyes out. Full Narcissistic Collapse. Was I “defensive” as my parents called it? Absolutely! Fighting to be OK. I was fighting for my life. Read Confessions of an Ex-Narcissist by clicking here!  Beware the religious narcissist.
They speak with the omniscient voice of God. Wield the sword of His judgment. Brandish the rod of His power. They wear the mantle of His righteousness. They goin’ straight to Heaven, baby. And you, you back-slidden heathen? Well, you ain’t! Exploitation of Holy Scripture is at its finest when you give a narcissist a Bible. In fact, all cult leaders have narcissistic tendencies. You can take it to the bank! My narcissists “got religion” in 1980. Or so they claimed. Uh huh, whatever. Read all about it here! http://blogs.psychcentral.com/narcissism/2016/01/religious-narcissist-cult/  On Valentine's Day we devote ourselves to those we love most — our husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends and yes, parents and children. But what about the one we neglect the most, berate the most and shame the most: ourselves. Surely, a little of that love should trickle down to us, too. In The Screwtape Letters, the great C. S. Lewis wrote, "When they [humans] have really learned to love their neighbours as themselves, they will be allowed to love themselves as their neighbours.” I suspect the majority of children from narcissistic and otherwise dysfunctional homes have perfected the art of loving and caring for our neighbors. But we haven't got the first clue on how to love and care for ourselves. So this Valentine's Day, let's chat about self-care. Click here to read the full article on PsychCentral! http://blogs.psychcentral.com/narcissism/2016/02/selfcare-part-1/  Since when did narcissists ever play fair?
You quote their words exactly and they weasel out of them. They misquote and twist your words, then judged you for what you never said, thought, wrote nor meant. But that’s narcissistic clairvoyance for ya’. They know you better than you know you! When you’re dealing with narcissists, there’s the “Official Story” and the “Truth.” And never shall the twain meet. Click here to read all about what I learned from tangling with a religious narcissist! |