 Reading old emails exchanged with my captors makes me sick. Nauseated. Loquacious lovey-dovey’s and toe-curling coo’s drip from our email conversations. The contrast between our communication back then is in stark contrast to the barbs and silences now. It’s contradictory. Crazy-making. Stockholm Syndrome overwhelmed me again last night, wracking my frame with guttural sobs. As tears poured down my cheeks, a voice I barely recognized as my own cried, “What did I do that was so bad? What happened to all the love? Why did they do all this shit to me? Did they ever love me at all? Did I ever truly love them? Did they ever have empathy for me?” Click here to find out! Lenora Thompson writes a great blog...she's been there, seen that, and lived to tell the tales. - Facebook friend
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 As a child, I felt loved for what I did but not for who I authentically was.
Because of this, parental correction and discipline was excruciatingly painful. It brought on full narcissistic collapse. This is the feeling that you’re less than nothing. Don’t deserve life. Are the lowest human on Earth. Are worth less than shit. Have no basis upon which to make eye contact with another human, let alone stand up to them. I spent many hours curled up in the fetal position, sobbing my eyes out. Full Narcissistic Collapse. Was I “defensive” as my parents called it? Absolutely! Fighting to be OK. I was fighting for my life. Read Confessions of an Ex-Narcissist by clicking here!  Since when did narcissists ever play fair?
You quote their words exactly and they weasel out of them. They misquote and twist your words, then judged you for what you never said, thought, wrote nor meant. But that’s narcissistic clairvoyance for ya’. They know you better than you know you! When you’re dealing with narcissists, there’s the “Official Story” and the “Truth.” And never shall the twain meet. Click here to read all about what I learned from tangling with a religious narcissist!  Those who attack victims always have an agenda. Victimizing someone is bad. But revictimizing a victim by shaming them for being a victim. Wow! That’s low!
Revictimized is defined as when “a survivor who has removed his/herself from an abusive environment is harmed again by perpetrators.” The victimizing started when I was a baby. I didn’t ask to be victimized. I did nothing to cause it. I didn’t even know it was happening. No child of a dysfunctional home does. It’s not their fault.To imply otherwise is to revictimize them. Click here to read the full article on PsychCentral!
What an absolutely marvelous idea! Odd that it never occurred to me before. Ya' just never know where inspiration will strike! See what happens when you piss off a writer. They do nasty things. Write inconvenient truths.
And on my blog, I cannot be removed. I cannot be blocked. I cannot be deleted. Genius, sir! Pure genius! Where do I begin? Of course, there are two sides to every story. I can only speak from my own experience at Fourth. Which would you like first? The good news, yes? Scholastically, FBCS was excellent. They also maintained discipline and order, seared much Scripture into your memory and taught you right from wrong. Yep. And now, for the bad news. Grab a cuppa, cause we're gonna be here awhile. |
