You know you're over forty when the word "hashtag" brings you out in hives.
But I've tried. I've really tried to join the #hashtag culture. I've #hashtagged with the best of 'em until I had an epiphany.
What if each new, hot hashtag is a subterfuge? A small shiny object spinning to distract us from important news stories they'd rather we forgot so they can sweep them under the rug.
Just ask yourself, "When was the last time I saw #EpsteinDidntKillHimself on a Tweet?".
Here are some important hashtags/news stories from 2019-2020 I forgot after other hashtags conveniently pushed them off the headlines. I'm sure I've missed a lot. How many do you remember?
[TRIGGER WARNING: Mind Control]
Once upon a time, in a place called Maple Grove, Cinderella and Prince Charming met online, had one date and got married. On their honeymoon, they found the end of the rainbow (it's in Oregon; we have pictures) and expected to Live Happily Ever After.
But it was not to be because Michael, I mean, Prince Charming found a website called InfoWars. And boy! Was I, I mean, Cinderella pissed off!
A Note to Trolls and Gremlins:
You're more than welcome
to exercise your
Freedom of Speech.
For about $300/year,
you can disrespect me
on your own website. Cheers!