I believe that even the most horrific situations can be somewhat redeemed if we can turn them into lessons to protect others from similar abuse. The ol' lemons-to-lemonade thing. This is my attempt to squeeze some lemonade out of what we're learning from Ghislaine's trial so others don't experience the same fate.
In July 2017, I wrote an article titled Wait, Was That...Sexual Grooming!?! for PsychCentral in which we discussed what I and so many other experienced. I called it "lite grooming" because, unlike Ghislaine's overt style of grooming, "1) it may not have been overtly sexual in nature and 2) it may never have culminated in actual molestation or a sexual act."
I remembered that old article today after Annie Farmer testified in court that Ghislaine began grooming a teenage Annie by suddenly massaging her breasts. That triggered my teenage memory of a female family member inexplicably bashing the same boundary with me.
So many of Ghislaine's victims mention "freezing" when Ghislaine or Epstein touched them inappropriately. That may sound strange but if you've been on the receiving end of grooming, it makes perfect sense. (More about that later.)
Unfortunately, television is grooming us as a society to accept grooming. It's become so commonplace to see women grabbing and fondling each other's breasts on reality TV, we hardly notice it anymore. I don't care if the women are related, like Smothered "star" Cristina Bertolli routinely grabbing her mother's bosom, in my opinion it's still wrong. Been wanting to say that for a long time.
Lite grooming, even by a blood relative of the same gender, is just as wounding and crazy-making as hardcore grooming by someone like Ghislaine because the intent and effects are the same: 1) someone else establishes control over your body, 2) your God-given physical boundaries are destroyed and 3) you are left utterly confused and ashamed, utterly unable to re-establish those boundaries because of your misplaced shame.
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