If You're Alone This Thanksgiving
Being alone never feels quite so acute as it does on holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Whether you're alone-alone or alone-with-your-spouse, it's painful to see all those staged Facebook photos and imagine everyone else feasting, chatting and actually enjoying spending time with their big, happy families when your home is so quiet, by fate or by choice.
I know exactly how you feel. For 20+ years, my family's holidays were Norman Rockwell's Freedom from Want on steroids. Picture perfect. Everyone acting like they actually liked each other.
But sometimes the quietest family member is the only one holding the family together. When Grandpa quietly died in 2000, well, truth-will-out. My uncle finally got to kick his sister (my mom) to the curb. One thing led to another and today Michael and I find ourselves alone together each holiday...because we won't put up with the toxic, personality disordered, pathological lying and abuse of our families by birth/by law anymore. Not even for one miserable holiday.
Even though we have each other, there's still a feeling of aloneness that hurts acutely at holiday times and there are probably millions of people worldwide in the same boat.
A Salute to Spouses/Caregivers of Veterans with Gulf War Illness/Syndrome (Deployed and Non-Deployed)
Originally published November 11th, 2019 in PsychCentral's blog, Narcissism Meets Normalcy. Written by Lenora Thompson.
We never raised our right hand and vowed to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States” but we may as well have. We simply said “I Do” and, Baby, as far as I’m concerned, we spouses/caregivers became veterans every bit as much as our spouse who suffers from GWI, deployed or non-deployed. Only we’re not in for four or eight years. We’re in "til death do us part" because Gulf War Illness never quits.
The longer we know President Trump, the more we love and respect him. At the age of seventy-five, he's America's first President-in-Exile and increasingly opening up to us, daring to be a trifle vulnerable about the emotional toll Saving America has taken on him.
What was your grandfather doing at seventy-five years of age? Mine was ensconced in his La-Z-Boy, working the crossword while the television warbled gently in the background. On Thursdays he went garage saling and enjoyed lunch at Old Country Buffet. Once a week, he massaged, I mean, mowed the lawn into verdant perfection. Such was the gentle round of his simple life and he liked it, dang it! He was seventy-five years old! Hadn't he earned some peace?
You really can't blame 75-year-old President Trump for being sick of this shit. The man has been campaigning for six years for three terms as President. He's won (and will win again) every time too. He's also been hit with endless roadblocks, backstabs, lies, allegations, subpoenas, investigations, two failed impeachments and one bizarre coup. Under circumstances that would try the patience of a saint, we've never seen him lose his temper nor take a dime in salary.
It's a sign of our growing trust and intimacy that President Trump feels safe in revealing to us how sick-and-tired he is of it all. For the first time in six years, he's opening up about how difficult this journey has been for him as a man. This new vulnerability makes him all the more endearing, all the more charming.
But the Mainstream Media won't tell you any of that.
How did President Trump win in 2016?
How will he win again on Tuesday, November 3rd?
It's not rocket science. He whistle-stops. In 2016 aboard his private jet. In 2020, via Air Force One.
Whistle-stopping is as old as the hills. Historians trace it back to the campaign-by-train of William Henry Harrison in 1836. But my favorite whistle-stopper was a Democratic president whom I greatly admire, Harry S. Truman.
In 1948, Harry Truman, wife Bess and daughter Margaret traveled 31,000 miles and delivered 356 speeches from the caboose of their train, the Ferdinand Magellan.
As always, Hollywood director Frank Capra explained whistle-stopping best in his 1941 movie, Meet John Doe. In the movie, actor Gary Cooper (as John Doe) takes to the rails like Trump (by private jet!) to bring a message of hope to America. As Cooper travels from one rally to another, he ponders on why people come to see him speak?
Growing up the daughter of a Political Science major, the Presidential Debates were the highlight of our lives every four years.
And every four years, my parents' faces would droop with disappointment as every Republican candidate failed to hit their opponent where it hurt. As they politely ignored their opponent's scandals, my parents would say in disgust, "The Republicans are just too damn gentlemanly."
Now we know, that wasn't true at all.
They were RINOs! Republican In Name Only.
They were on the same team as their opponent. George H. W. Bush (of mistress Jennifer Fitzgerald and Boys Town infamy) proved that when he called Bill Clinton, "my son" and George W. Bush referred to Hillary Clinton as, "my sister-in-law."
When I heard that, it reminded me of that famous quote from the 1954 movie A Star is Born. "If you'll be kind enough to glance between my shoulder blades...you'll find there a knife. On its handle are your initials."
The knife was between our shoulder blades. Whoever we voted for, whoever won, nothing much ever changed. We were duped. Played for saps.
Enter Donald Trump.
I know Nancy Pelosi's white roots have already grown out since her infamous visit to that hair salon. But thanks to Donald Trump bringing it up at every awesome rally, it's not stale news yet!
The whole incident would've blown over in a jiffy if she'd had the humility and Erma Bombeckesque sense of humor to say, "Sorry, my bad. I just wanted to look my best for my voters."
But no! Nancy herself blew the incident into A Thing by projection, by attempting to gaslight the American voter by blaming the hair salon for setting her up. Basically a grown-up version of, "I know you are but what am I?" Typical narcissism. The faux apology that circles around to blame the victim.
Our God-Given American Freedoms: The Philosophy Inspiring Our Fight Against Narcissism
Yesterday, I received an alarmed email from my marketing service informing me that 7.58% of my readers had unsubscribed after I wrote They Said Trump Is A Malignant Narcissist. Was I off-topic, they wanted to know? Had I erred in some way?
I've been writing about all the usual topics - cults, narcissism, freedom but as they relate to America and Donald Trump. Apparently, that pissed off exactly 7.58% of my subscribers who are Biden/Harris supporters.
Then I realized something: You can't write about narcissism without also writing about America, patriotism, freedom...and Donald Trump.
Our fight against narcissism is a fight for our God-given American Freedoms in the microcosm of our relationships. But you won't even know you have those freedoms without America. What we're fighting for, nationally and personally, is for freedom "against all enemies, foreign and domestic." Emphasis on domestic.
As soon as Donald Trump announced his candidacy in 2015, screams of "Narcissist!" resounded through cyberspace.
It was the perfect label at the perfect time. The whole Narcissism trend had just started and I was in the perfect place at the perfect time too. As Trump began his presidential campaign, I began writing PsychCentral's first dedicated narcissism blog, Narcissism Meets Normalcy.
Every time I hear someone say, "the new normal," I cringe. Like fingernails on a chalkboard, it sets my teeth on edge.
That's because I know from sad experience how abusers have carte blanche in the absence of normalcy - the stick in the spokes of their abuse. Abusers and narcissists hate normalcy because it puts a cramp in their style. The first thing cults make new members jettison is their old normalcy. As Todd bragged on Chrisley Knows Best, "There ain't no normal here." My point.
The events of 2020 have given certain people "dressed in a little brief authority" just the excuse they craved to jettison normal, to terrify, to divide and to conquer by brainwashing nice, normal people into exchanging their God-given freedom for so-called "safety."
For five years, I've advocated for the importance of the protection of normalcy. Naming my old blog, Narcissism Meets Normalcy was not a whim. I coined that title because I know, from experience, how much bad can happen when the protection of normalcy is removed.
Click here to learn more about Lenora Thompson: wife, caregiver, writer, patriot.
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