You know it's going to happen eventually but when it finally does...uff da! It's one helluva shock. Without so much as a "How d'ya do" GoFundMe brought my earning to a screeching halt! "Under review." Recent donations...frozen. You can look but you can't touch! "We sent you an email," they claim. Actually, no! Ya didn't!
And just when I'd been having such a nice day too.
Once Upon a Time...
...back in Autumn of 2014, we ran out of money. Michael had his monthly SSDI, of course, but that doesn't quite stretch to such luxuries as groceries let alone fixing all the things that constantly break on a 1912 "fixer upper."
I wasn't a writer back then so when medical bills began mounting I started a fundraiser to pay for Michael's hospital bed, co-pays, Enchroma glasses, dental care, etc....and that's when the trauma started.
You would not believe the nasty comments people posted. Never before nor after have I seen people (actually, "family" if you can call them that) posting under their real names shouting that no one should donate to this fundraiser. It was so bizarre I still have the screenshots. (If you haven't figured it out yet, Michael and I escaped extremely toxic families...and they don't like it much. They miss their scapegoats and whipping boys!)
When I finally figured my $hit out and found a paid writing venue, they attacked there too. However and wherever I tried to make a small living, they did their utmost to get me fired. (Didn't work!) But at some point you wonder, "Are we not supposed to exist or something!?!"
That's not the point though.
The point is that trauma like that builds up. It's cumulative. When a lot of bad things happen in a short amount of time, your body has only two modes: 1) Calm and 2) Freak the Hell out! When yet another bad thing happens, you go to Lift-the-Car-off-the-Toddler panic mode immediately, your body squirting cortisol and adrenalin into your bloodstream like crazy. Basically C-PTSD.
And that's what happened when I discovered late last night that my GoFundMe was frozen. I freaked the Hell out. My bad.
Click here to learn more about Lenora Thompson: wife, caregiver, writer, patriot.
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