Remember my bath last Thursday? Well, I'm not nasty and clean anymore, thanks to my cousin, Sandy. She rubbed all her dirt, grease and horse apples onto me to take away that nasty soapy smell. Now that's a true friend!
What can I tell you about Sandy, the toy pom? She's adorable...and annoying! But she's still a puppy so I humor her. I used to be just like that, pestering the crap outta' my sister. Karma's a bichon, cause Sandy pesters the crap outta' me...literally!
As Sheldon says on #TBBT, "Leonard, I'm gettin' too old for this crud."
It all started one sunny day last Summer. We went over to my Auntie and Uncle's house for dinner as we often do. I waddled in and suddenly BAM! Something's growling at me...barking...biting my ear.
I was like, "What the woof!?!"
So I takes off running. But I can't get any traction on the slippery floor, so basically, I'm running in place with this thing hanging on my ear. I mean, if I wanted earrings I'd go to Claire's! I got so excited, I crapped on the spot.
And that's another of Sandy's charms. She has this amazing laxative effect. If I'm having pooing problems, Sandy clears it right up. Usually, I also throw up out of sheer excitement. That's why I gave my Auntie a roll of paper towel and a note of apology last week. I've been doin' so much pooin' and peein' and barfin' on her nice clean floors, I figured I owed her one!
Now my sister, CweeCwee, does not like little Sandy. She pretends she doesn't exist, won't make eye contact, ignores her completely. I'm like, "Woof, girl! Is that nice?" But she doesn't listen to any woofs I say, so it's up to me to keep the little Pom entertained. I've lost weight, literally shed pounds, playing "tag" with Sandy.
And that's another thing. She cheats! I run the whole circuit around their house like any decent bichon would, puffing for air, panting, wild- eyed, clawing for traction. But that growling little Pom takes shortcuts, nips under furniture, sneaks behind the stove. She's cool as a cucumber while I'm panting and wetting myself. I'm like, "Woof on you, girl," and try to hide.
But, seriously, I can't imagine life without my cousin. We play together, piddle together, wrestle together and snooze together. And the next time I see her, I'm totally gonna' to steal her blue teddy bear and bring it home.
("No, Sandy, I didn't tell them you hump me constantly. It's not something to be proud of! Now shut the woof up!")
Where did my Daddy come from? I'm not quite sure. Mommy adopted me from a pet store. CweeCwee came from the Animal Humane Society. So I guess we adopted Daddy from the Stray Daddy Humane Society. He was pretty skinny when we adopted him.
It all happened so fast! Mommy was gone all day one Saturday and came home with this funny "glow." The next day, she brushed our teeth, washed our faces and brought us with her to meet Daddy. She said she wanted our opinions.
Apparently, she trusts our instincts. If we bit him, she'd think twice. If we loved him, she'd marry him.
We loved him! She married him...thirteen days later! And that's how we adopted Daddy.
That was almost four years ago. Oh, how I love my Daddy. He "gits" me. I think he's got a lot of bichon in him, which is the highest compliment a bichon can pay a human.
For example, he hasn't got a cranky bone in his body...just like me. And he plays right. Mommy tried and tried, but never quite got the hang of it...which is why I did the head-turn-and-bark thing at her all the time.
And he speaks fluent dog. When I scoot and groan, he groans right back. We have long scoot-and-groan conversations. We understand each other, perfectly.
And when I adopted Daddy, I got a new job too. I'm a CC...a Constant Companion. You see, my daddy's very sick. Mommy says its his bellows or wungs, whatever they're called. He hurts a lot. Often, he can't play with me. Sometimes he can't even lift me or hold me. When he gets that sick, I sit next to him, rest my non-existent chin on the chair arm and STARE at him. That's what being a Constant Companion means. STARE at your human and WOOF if they aren't breathing right.
My job even got me on TV!! Want to see me? CLICK HERE!
And that's how I adopted my wonderful Daddy.
Hi! Delly here! I'm a bichon frise. My mommy says I'm crazy, eccentric and hilarious. These are my doodles. WOOF!